The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We are two peas in an std pod
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
