After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
