Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
