I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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