I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
