He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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