Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
