very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
