he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
no more duck duck goose at the bar
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Someone signed my nipple.
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