Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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