wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
