She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
