I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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