it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
