I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
