Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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