Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sext me about skeletons
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
