hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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