is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You left your phone here
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