Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just threw up on my dentist
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
