Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
