And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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