Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
