Only a mothe r could love this liver
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
