Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
