if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
