Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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