Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
