with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize