Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm passing your future prison.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
