She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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