can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
