I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
