Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
