Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
