Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
