someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
