Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
false alarm, still single
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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