hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
