some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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