Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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