Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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