It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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