You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
