what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
