I want to stick my p in your. b.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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