Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
