we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
