Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My breasts were aching with rage.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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