half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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