the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
